She's Got It Together
She's Got It Together
Managing A Household: How to control the chaos and enjoy life
Hey everyone, it's Jessica from She's Got It Together! In this week's episode, Samantha and I had a blast chatting with Jennifer Roskamp, a homeschooling mom of nine and grandma (or "Gigi") of two. Jennifer shared her insights on managing a large household, keeping things running smoothly, and still finding time for self-care.
We dove into how Jennifer handles schedules, chores, and the inevitable chaos that comes with a big family. Her key tips? Plan in pencil, be flexible, and involve the whole family in household tasks. She also emphasized the importance of making time for yourself, even if it's just 10 minutes, because burning the candle at both ends doesn't do anyone any good.
This episode is packed with practical advice and relatable moments that'll have you nodding along and laughing with us. Whether you've got one kid or ten, you'll definitely pick up some strategies to simplify your life and be a more intentional mom. So grab a cup of coffee, pop in your earbuds, and join us for this fun, down-to-earth conversation with the amazing Jennifer Roskamp!
Want more from Jennifer? Well, you are in luck. She will be hosting a FREE online summit called Simplify Your Summer. It will be live Tuesday, May 28th through Monday, June 5th and you can find my session on Sketch Planning Thursday, May 30th. Use the link below to grab your FREE TICKET: https://ubmedia--the-intentional-mom.thrivecart.com/summit-2024-all-access-47-workbook/
Hope you enjoyed this episode!
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Here's to Getting it Together one day at a time,
Jessica & Samantha
half planning and it's half damage control, and I teach that as the skill of reassessment, right, like that's really what it is. It's like, when life happens which is a lot, what are you going to do, right, you, you, you can't undo a lot of things, so it's a matter of just accepting what it is and then saying, all right, well, that's interesting, so this is what I thought was going to happen, but this is now what has happened. So it's like, how can I reconcile these two things? So, yeah, that's that's really what it boils down to. I feel like, even even when you have smaller families, right, you're doing the same thing.
Speaker 2:Hi everyone, and welcome to a brand new episode of she's Got it Together. I'm your host, jessica.
Speaker 3:And I'm Samantha. Each week we peel back the curtain on what it really looks like to have it together.
Speaker 2:From the messy moments to the milestones, we're here to share it all.
Speaker 3:So grab your favorite drink, get comfy and let's dive into today's topic.
Speaker 2:Hey, jessica, here from, she's Got it Together and I'm here with my lovely co-host, samantha, and today we are going to be talking with Jennifer Roskamp. Hi, jennifer, hey ladies, thanks for having me here today. I'm excited to talk with you. Yeah, this is going to be fun. So today's topic is going to be managing a household. So today's topic is going to be managing a household, but Jennifer has a bit of a twist on that, just because she has more children than the average family. So, jennifer, do you want to just kind of dive in and tell us a little bit about yourself?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I'm a homeschooling mom of nine, gigi of two, which means grandma in my world, but because my youngest was only three and a half when my first grandson was born, I thought I need to be Gigi, like I need to pick a name, like it can't be grandma, right? This is so confusing for my youngest son at the time, who must have been six or seven. He's like so, do we have another brother-in-law now? And it was like. He's like so do we have another brother-in-law now? And it was like no, no, no, like a nephew, you know, just really confusing.
Speaker 1:So so, yeah, there's a big gap, obviously, between my oldest and my youngest. So at the time of this recording, my oldest just turned 23. She's the one with two kids, and then my youngest is five. So, and my first three are really close in age, and then they kind of space out to where they're about two years apart, most of them um, and then we homeschool as well. So, um, we're together a lot, but my kids do a lot of stuff as well, uh, but, uh, yeah, so life is never boring. That's always what I say, right, and it's controlled chaos. I always say those are my two things, like it's. It's always an element of chaos. It's a matter of you just have to control it and then do with it what you can, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, just take what you can and let go and rest, I guess.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, that's crazy. I mean we, samantha and I, because we're sisters. We have about eight and a half, almost nine years between us, but still our mom only had three, and it was because there was twins.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Because Sam's a twin.
Speaker 3:I'm a twin.
Speaker 2:Oh wow yeah.
Speaker 1:So, gosh, you guys were sisters, we are.
Speaker 2:That's fine. Fun fact, yes, fun fact. So okay, well, I mean, you've got've got it all figured out then if you can handle a household with that many. It's control right yes.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that. Yes, that's perfect Damage.
Speaker 2:Control. Yes, it's perfect.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's really what it is. I feel like it's it's half planning and it's half damage control, and really I teach that as the skill of reassessment, right, like that's really what it is. It's like when life happens, which happens a lot, what are you going to do, right, you, you, you can't undo a lot of things, so it's a matter of just accepting what it is and then saying, all right, well, that's interesting, so this is what I thought was going to happen, but this is now what has happened. So it's like, how can I reconcile these two things? So that's really what it boils down to. I feel like, even when you have smaller families, right, you're doing the same thing.
Speaker 2:No, that's very true. I mean, that's essentially how you make it through the day is just by pivoting when you need to pivot and going with it. Yeah, definitely going with it.
Speaker 3:You can always have a plan, but it's never gonna go according to the plan, so you have to be flexible because I have an 18 month old. I'm pregnant with my second right now, so I'm just kind of like okay, like we've got life figured out for the most part with the one. Now we're gonna and he's, you know, 18 months, so it'll be like 22 months apart.
Speaker 3:So then we're gonna add another one to the chaos and I'm like you know 18 months, so there'll be like 22 months apart. So then we're going to add another one to the chaos and I'm like you know what Two, four, six like does it matter you know how many we have is just going to be chaos, controlled chaos, no matter how many you have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean honestly, you know that's kind of. When we got to four I will say people think I'm crazy, but I think there was some adjustment with going from one to two, two to three and three to four, but literally after that there was just no, there was no adjustment anymore. And I know that sounds crazy, but it really was just like well, all the wheels are essentially, you know like you are, you are heavily outnumbered.
Speaker 2:And so it is just the way it is.
Speaker 1:And then, yeah, it's, it's the fluidity of life. Right, that's it's. You gotta be fluid because, again, you can fight against it. But why do that? Like, all you're doing is taking your precious resources, your time, your bandwidth, your brain space, your emotions, your mental capacity, all those things. So, and then you're just, you know, trying to beat your head against the wall about saying, you know, well, I don't like this, right, like, but I don't want this to happen, but I wanted it to go this way. You know, that's just like. Well, let's, let's use my resources.
Speaker 1:Like I'm all about, I think, when you're spread between so many different people and pulled in so many different directions, I think I'm just so hardwired to be so strategic of, like, my resources. I'm like what is the least amount of effort and time and bandwidth and everything I can put into each and everything, because I need enough, you know, for all these buckets, right, exactly, yeah that is, and I've heard that from so many other large families that you know, after three or four, it's, it's nothing changes really, it's just yeah and another one to the mix Three to four is usually easier because like they have like playmates and like there's like it's an even number for a minute there and like they're just like okay, yeah, there's four of them.
Speaker 3:Like they're just everywhere now, like it's fine, they're everywhere. I love it, yes.
Speaker 1:Well, just to occur to Samantha, I would say my daughter's transition from one to two has been really, really smooth. I can't remember that lie, though I have no idea what it was like for me and my you know my kids would say all the time well, that's because you're a dinosaur, you know. I hear all kinds of things Just having watched her go through it just recently, because my youngest grandson is not even three months yet and that's been a real smooth transition for her, is not even three months yet and that's been a real smooth transition for her. So I think, if you hear I mean I think a lot of times we think, and maybe people tell you all the bad stories, so I would want to say no, it's not, you know, it can be totally a hundred percent fine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, that's really encouraging. It makes me excited.
Speaker 2:Well, and your personality too. You know you're pretty laid back for the most part.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like I feel like I'm you know, I was a teacher, like I've babysat kids, Like I'm very comfortable around kids. I love kids, so I'm like I'm not like super nervous about having two. It's just like all of the like time and things, like all the stuff you have to do for one. I'm a little like, oh, I feel so bad, I'm not going to be able to like give him, give him as much like undivided attention and stuff like that.
Speaker 3:But then all my friends that went from like one to two or three kids, they're like it'll be fine, Like you feel a little guilty now but once like that baby comes and you see, like their relationship, like it's so worth it. So I'm excited yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, that is interesting that you bring up that point too, because that's certainly a question I get a lot, you know, is like. You know, how can you, how is there even close to enough of you to go around Like there's not? You know it's like, but don't forget that you're not the only one who brings value in terms of relationship and everything to your kids. You know they get so much more and everything to their kids. You know they get so much more. You know they have so many other people in my family to also gain everything from, and so it definitely is a different dynamic, you know, but it's not. That was a big, I think, realization for us when we got to four, and I think that's really what made us because we didn't. In fact, when my husband and I were married for a while, we said we weren't having any kids. Isn't that interesting, wow.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1:But we never knew we wanted a large family. I think we both come from three and so I think if you would have asked us, we probably just would have assumed that, because that's what was familiar to us. And then, I guess, after we had the first one, maybe the second one is when I knew I wanted at least four, I really wanted four, and my husband was like, no, I'm not doing that. So actually the biggest gap between our kids is between three and four. There's actually a three year gap there. And then he was finally like you know what, I'm good with four.
Speaker 1:And then literally it when we had that four, that's when the fun really became clear to us and it was just like, oh my gosh, this is so cool. And part of that was watching the siblings with each other and just seeing all the you know, the different dynamics and differences and personalities and just really realizing you know what a unique gift that can be, you know, to our kids. So then we just decided, just you know what, whatever happens, happens. And there we went, just go for it, I love that, yeah, that is pretty awesome.
Speaker 3:Going from like I don't know if I want to have kids to three kids. You know what? Let's have nine. Let's just keep going, I love that we would have had more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we would have had more. I love that. I'm a dinosaur now, so you know kids Well absolutely not.
Speaker 3:You look fabulous.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, you do.
Speaker 3:Oh, thank you, I just love that realization. I feel like that, you know, you know everyone says it takes a village, but like having like those other relationships, like that's just like. That was just such a light bulb moment for me because we have such a supportive family and friends and it's nice to know that like yeah, I might not be able to be there for like every little thing, but it's like other people can.
Speaker 3:Somebody will be and like those, yeah, somebody will be like they're always going to have some strong supportive relationships, which is so nice, wow.
Speaker 1:Well, and too, as your kids get older, for us, when teenagers need to discuss certain things, they felt more comfortable going to one of my sisters or something about something. And I'll never forget when my oldest was needing to learn to shave her legs, I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't do it. I made my sister do it. I'm like we have to teach her to shave her legs. I could rather most people do that. You know it's cool. You know that you can. You know when you're, when you're blessed to have that. You know bigger support system, too, that you can draw on them and all of that. You know bigger support system, too, that you can draw on them and all of that too. So, and I, you know I look forward to what that's going to be like. You know, when my kids get older, you know to see how they, as adults, are there for each other.
Speaker 1:Even just this week, my 16 year old has her prom this weekend and you know she came to me and said you know, and I'm a hairdresser, isn't this funny? She's like can you do my hair like this? And I'm like, no, that was not my gift. If you want a perm, I can give you a perm all day long. I'm not do those pretty hairdo, but you know what your sister can do, that you know. Why don't you call her?
Speaker 2:She loves to do that and she's so good. Oh, yes, I'll do that. So you know she's coming over to do her hair this weekend because her hairdresser mom can't do it. Oh my goodness. All right, so let's hit some other topics here with this. So how do you manage your schedule With all of this going on? I mean that's, is it possible?
Speaker 1:Well, so I would say there's a few things to keep in mind and I feel like the more, the more variables is how I call them the more variables you have in your life. So, for instance, I have multiple kids. They do multiple, you know, I have some of them in this sport, I have others in this sport. They also do music and have music lessons and a day of music, and then we've got church youth group that a couple of them do and just all these different things and I would consider those to be all variables. And so the more variables you have, the more I find you plan things in pencil. Yes, I like that?
Speaker 1:Yes, I like that. Yes, you know it's like, and you really only put things in stone like a day or two ahead at the most. Yeah, because it just has to be that way. So when it comes to managing like the schedule in that way, like there are many times where there will be, as you can imagine, overlapping things, like I'm supposed to have this kid here at the same time as this kid is supposed to be there, and I have learned that. I am aware of that. You know there's always got to be this awareness where you're looking ahead, you know a month or two or three, but when there are problems like that, I have learned that I just need to wait it out and see.
Speaker 1:It is amazing how some of those details end up getting worked out so much of the time and it doesn't. You know, when you're doing that sort of thing too far out, whatever solution you come up with is probably going to change 10 different. You know the exact details will change 10 times between now and then. So then it just becomes wasted effort and wasted everything. So stress that you don't need Worry. Yeah, so I find that's one major way of managing, like where everybody has to go and all of that. It literally is like pencil planning any pencil for a while.
Speaker 1:My kids just today are starting up with their. I have five swimmers right now yeah, five swimmers, but of course their groups are all we represent, all the different groups offered, I bet you. They all have different practice times and so there's some overlap and there's some not, and so our kids have learned there also has to be flexibility on my part, and all my kids know there has to be flexibility as well. There's times where you know I will, one kid will have to go a half hour early because I'm not, I'm not going this back and forth. So you're, you're gonna come a half hour early and bring a book or whatever and somebody else might stay late, and so there's a lot of that flexibility and adaptability. I mean that's a key.
Speaker 1:Also when they're happy, you know, when we're talking schedules and trying to make everything fit, and then when you're talking about like, just how to get through the day, that type of schedule, again, for me I like to plan things in time blocks for the most part, where again you kind of just have I have my different roles kind of mapped out through the day. So when my day first starts, that's when I get my work done, because obviously I still run a business also, so that's when I get my work done. So that's kind of my work bucket. And then after I work I go into my self-care bucket. That's usually a time that I'm getting a workout in and that sort of thing. And then after that I switched to kind of the homemaker slash mom bucket where I'm helping people get through breakfast and we're getting you know like a you know quick morning, tidy, done after the you know aftermath of all of those things. And then it switches to homeschool mom bucket and then it switches back to kind of like homemaker mom bucket. Then it goes back to work bucket. So it's really just.
Speaker 1:I think it's very helpful when managing a schedule to start with what your different roles and this is how I teach it you start with what your different roles and responsibilities are. First you lay those out in your day on a Tuesday and a Wednesday if it looks different and then the tasks you can fill in from there, because those are the variables that can change Right. So I and it's not to say that you don't have overlap of your you know time walks, because there are there's times where I'm homeschool mom, working mom, homemaker and taxi service all at the same time. You know, for the most part, when you have kind of one primary rule planned for each different block of time throughout your day, it really helps you be more, I find, helps me feel like I'm more present in everything that I do, rather than trying to do 12,000 things at one time.
Speaker 1:And you know my kids will know, you know, if they will approach me during a work time, for instance, they know that I might say you know they don't even say like, certain times they won't even say hey, can you do this for me? Their question will be when are you going to be done with this work time or something along those lines. Because they know that you know, outside of our blood or vomit rule, you know we try to just kind of stick with the way that things go and just like too, when I'm homeschooling a couple of the younger ones together, you know, and the older kids know, like this is homeschool time, like again, unless it's blood or vomit. This is what I'm doing right now and so I think that's very helpful too when you're thinking about a daily schedule is to think about the rules and responsibilities first and the tasks second, because when all we do is think about all the things we have to do and all those tasks, that's what makes us feel like we're running the rat race all the time. Yeah, overwhelmed, and yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1:So I really feel like it sets you up in a good way to keep the real thing on the real thing, not to say that you don't still feel like you're pulled all over the place sometimes because you do. But I think when you approach it as I'm going to, I'm going to manage the person first and the tasks second. Yeah, I find that is helpful as well, and you know this is stuff that has taken me years to figure out. Right, like I make it sound like oh, this is just what you do, and you know it's. It takes, it has taken a lot to land here, but this is where I have found certainly to work the smoothest. For the last probably 10 years at least, I've kind of been doing it this way, I would say.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like that you mentioned bringing you know. Your family is kind of brought into this. They understand what each hat means or each bucket means, so that they know how to you know, interrupt or don't interrupt. I mean that's, I think, super important. It's something that gets missed a lot, so it's not going to function the way you need it to if everyone's not on board.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, and there's reminders too. In fact, I had to have a sit down this weekend and remind my kids, like, cause they, you know it was cleaning the house day, it was our home reset day, which we do on the weekend, and, you know, this kid wanted me to check this and that kid wanted me to check that, and this kid and that kid, and I literally reminded and explained again to some of my youngers, you know, um, if, if all I did was, you know, run around here to do this for this person and run here and run here, like I would be able to get my list done, like you can see my list. And so, yes, I understand that you would like me to do this for you right now and you would like me to do this right now, but let's remember that we want to just be able to get done, and you guys want my, you want me to be able to get my work done too, so that we can get to the fun stuff Right, and so it has to be this togetherness. You know we have to kind of work together. And so, again, they had kind of gotten where they were reminding more than or asking for that type of thing, but it's, you know, I always try to remind them like here's, why, like, imagine, and I literally ask them, imagine if, if I did this for you, that for them, and that for them, and that for them, you know, and it can be like bombarding, you know, like literally, it could be something every couple of minutes and it kind of was this weekend, you know, and I'm like, every time that you, you know, interrupt me too, you know it, it just it makes me kind of have to reset again.
Speaker 1:And so, you know, why don't we plan on, you know, check in with me. You know, why don't we have check-ins every half hour? Let me know what you need at that point, you know. And so that way, I mean, our kids can do that right, even if they aren't old enough to tell time. And you're setting a timer Like that's how it was with my little ones Like 10 minutes, you know, you're going to have your alone time over on your blanket here for 10 minutes. You're going to have your alone time on a blanket here for 10 minutes and I'm going to sit on the couch and do my thing, whatever, and when the timer goes off, then we're done, you know, then we can reassess and see what we're going to do at that point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's really smart. So, when you mentioned the cleaning over the weekend, so how do you handle your tasks I mean as far as chores and tasks, things like that for the kids, how do you handle your tasks I mean as far as chores and tasks, things like that, for the kids, how do you, how do you handle that? Do they do most of it or, you know, is it a team?
Speaker 1:effort. It is definitely a team effort. Now, there are certain things. So this is interesting and I, again, I've tried all. We've done all different things with this too. We've done it where the everybody you know like this person does this every week. You know, like this is your pack of tours, this is what you do.
Speaker 1:And I will say too, it's not just on the weekend. We have certain things we do throughout the week too, because we don't want to spend our whole weekend just pulling the house together. You know. So some of these easier tasks we do during the week as well. So I will say, like, in terms of the daily tasks, like my kids are very in charge of, you know, cleaning up. We have one person who clears the dining room. It takes care of the dining room. We have one person who does the pantry dishes. We have one person who cleans up the kitchen after every meal, and you'll notice, none of those are me actually. So a lot of times I'll have a kid or two. Help me bring a meal together, even if it's just something simple. You know kids when they're super young, you can say you know, I usually will ask my kids at lunchtime every day, because of course they're here, because we homeschool, you know, and I will ask them, you know, can you first of all pull out any leftovers that we have so those don't get missed?
Speaker 1:That's. We have a really tight food budget. It's something that I have always tried to spend minimally on is food. I'd rather spend my money on other fun things. I mean not that food can't be fun, but, um. So you know we keep a really close eye on leftovers or whatever. So usually I'm just pulling someone into the kitchen hey, can you, um, bring out the leftovers for me? Can you make, can you grab the salad? Can you do this? So, um, you know we always have very planned meals so that everybody knows what's for breakfast and lunch and dinner and so that again, it's easier for them to jump in and out.
Speaker 1:You know that's a key. If you want your kids to help you with stuff, you got to. Let them know what there is available to help with, yeah, what to help with. Then they can help you. So, but in terms of the household chores, so where we found it works best on the home reset is I literally will make a list every single week and just put everybody's name on it, and I have found rotation to be the most helpful, unless there are certain people who like to do certain tasks, and as long as everyone agrees, right, because it can't be like, hey, I want this, this and this, you know, right, as long as everybody agrees with that.
Speaker 1:But we have landed where people really do like the variety from week to week, myself included. And another key is, in fact, another key is literally goes down the left. All my kids names go down the left. Their jobs go underneath it, and then I put mine there too, and I think that is a key because they see that I'm doing it along with them. It's not just hey, you know, here you guys go and I even will write jobs a lot of times to do this with mom or do this with a sibling, you know, and it's like an older kid and a younger kid or like it's a big. Yeah, we have certain areas that you like our school room, we have a large school room, but there's a lot of a lot, a lot that happens during the week. You know, we do a general tidy of it, but it's it's pretty much a butchering rep by the time we get to the weekend after a school week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no-transcript, even just with the two I have here. You know it's well, she doesn't have to do anything. Why don't I have to do this? Well, she does. You just don't see what her list is.
Speaker 1:Well, when they think, oh, I want to complain about this thing, they get an opportunity to glance and say, oh, well, my sister's playing in the bathroom.
Speaker 2:I guess that's not so bad. We should probably Maybe that's what we're talking about now.
Speaker 3:Well, I feel like this kind of like leads into another question. It's like do you get any like alone time? I know you said like your self-care every day where you do your workout, which I think is great, because I think, with having so many like tasks and buckets that you have to fill and roles you have to play, that that could easily be pushed to the side because you're saying I just simply don't have time. I love that you make that like part of your day. So it's like do you get like that time like with you or just you and your spouse or whoever like? Do you get that alone time to just kind of reset?
Speaker 1:Well, I'm going to. I'm going to key in on two words you use, which I was really glad you used them. You use the word have and you use the word get, and I will answer, no, I do not have the time and no, I don't get the time, but I make it Absolutely Because that's what it has to be. Because if we just sit around and wait for, if we wait to get to X, y or Z, we all know like that, you know that will never happen. There's always a thousand other things that are screaming louder. Right, if we think about our self-care, you know just kind of that as a general bucket. You know there is always going to be all the tasks and all of those things, and you know they do. They feel more urgent than our self-care. But I like to say how. You know you hear the word self in self-care, but it's everybody benefits, right. You know that to be true too. If you are constantly.
Speaker 1:Now, I do believe that women can run on fumes for a while. I think we can go above and beyond. We can neglect ourselves for a while when we have seasons or situations that require that, right, but there will reach a point where we cannot do that. And what is that point? Who knows, who knows when it's going to happen, but it's real hard to bring yourself back. Once you go over the edge and into burnout. Or you go over the edge into just I have nothing left, it's harder to bring yourself back. And then a question I like to ask too is if you're burning the candle at both ends that way, how much value are you really able to bring to the people and the things that you're trying to do it all for, like I call it your highest and best self? You're not able to do that, and we want that too, right, because we know when we're showing up on one out of five cylinders and we don't like it, so it's. But you do have to make the time, absolutely make the time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know it's so important because, like if you're, like you said, burning the candle at both ends and you're showing up and being snippy with your partner or you're just being really short with your kids and you like just kind of lose it. You're like that's not helping anybody, that's not showing up as like the best version of you and like that's not benefiting like yourself, your spouse, your kids, anything. So I love that Like you just have to make the time because it benefits everyone, not just you.
Speaker 1:And I feel like that time can be different in different seasons too, and there's a situation, you know, there's plenty of times where we can say, well, ideally this is what this would look like.
Speaker 1:Ideally I would like to have time for a 45 minute workout every day. But there might be seasons where you say, for right now I like tacking that onto it, right, because we're like we can feel disappointed, like realistically right now, like it can only be 20 minutes, you know, every day or every other day or whatever, or whatever, but just to remind yourself like this is what it has to be for right now. Later it will be able to look different or I will be able to reevaluate this, you know, at a later time, when it's not in the middle of, you know, concert season and baseball season and all of those things. But you, you know you still have to um, the type a personality that I am for a long time, like if I, if I was supposed to do a 30 minute workout like my husband helped me figure this out because he's not type A but when I would be at a point where I couldn't get a 30 minute workout, I would not want to do any workout at all.
Speaker 1:And my husband would be like that's so dumb, why don't you go out for a 10 minute walk? And I'd be like I don't know, I just don't want go out for a 10 minute walk. And I'd be like I don't know, I just don't want to wake already.
Speaker 3:you know, that's really really interesting, because I think I fall into that same category yeah, I mean it's like you have it set you just like have it set in your mind like a certain way you want it to be done and it's like, if I don't get, like at least, like you said, like 30 minutes in, like what's the point? Like it's not what I had planned. And then it's like, well, it's either that or nothing.
Speaker 2:Like the 10 minute walk would probably be better than nothing, but in your mind you're just like yeah, though I mean really yeah.
Speaker 1:Here's the benefit, though, is it's, I think, yes, are you giving up the workout if you're not able to? Are you giving up the 30 minutes if you can only get 10, yes, but what you're not giving up is how you are showing up for yourself, right, and so I think that's the bigger thing. We sacrifice and say, if I can't get the 30, so I'm not doing anything. What we the kind of the emotions and feelings and frustrations that we have to grapple with at that point is we haven't prioritized ourself at all, we haven't kept any sort of promise to ourselves and we've turned. You know, it's like we've turned our back on ourselves.
Speaker 1:And so when you're able to get that 10 minute walk, it's not, yeah, you're not getting much for exercise wise in 10 minutes time, but what you are getting is, you know what? I still showed up for myself today, and I still made sure that I prioritized myself, even if it was just in this much smaller way, and I think that allows us, in our mindset, to be a much healthier person. Because I don't know about you, but when I would miss that 30-minute workout, ben, and do nothing, I am in a much more frustrated state than I get a 10-minute in Yep, I agree, I would totally agree, cause it's like you showed up for yourself for at least 10 minutes.
Speaker 3:You prioritize yourself, and then if you don't do that, then you're just like thinking like, okay, well one. I'm just like sulking and irritated on the couch, or I'm like I'm doing the dishes when I should be like having my 10 minutes of self care and you're just like, then you're just like in a bad mood.
Speaker 3:The rest of the day or it takes me a little bit longer to like get out of a like little funk like that sometimes. So I'm just like yeah, I totally agree, it's like 10 minutes is better than nothing. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, and then how do we feel about the people Like, whatever it is that we determine has made it so that we can't get this workout done Like term, and has made it so that we can't get this workout done, like now, we're frustrated towards that person.
Speaker 3:you know, yes, we're resentful.
Speaker 1:Not good, not not a pretty emotion Like I don't, no, I don't see pretty, uh, pretty, uh words and actions coming out of way, no, when we feel like the word like resentful in itself is just like an ugly word.
Speaker 3:you know, the word like resentful in itself is just like an ugly word. It's not pretty.
Speaker 2:Does that look pretty? I'm not bad, no, oh my gosh. Well, that's awesome. I think that is a great place to stop for this week, but I would love for you, jennifer, just to tell everyone where they can find you, what's going on in your neck of the woods. All that good stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we have something really exciting actually happening here in the next couple of weeks. We've got the Simplify your Summer Online Summit happening, which is we've got 30 speakers happening this year, one of which you'll recognize. So we've got and we cover everything from self-care we talk about home care, we talk about meals, we talk about time management, we talk about getting stuff done, and this year we're actually having a category for moms and working moms as well. So, yeah, so just all the common things that women struggle with every day. You can find out and get a free ticket to that at simplifyyoursummercom.
Speaker 2:Awesome. Yeah, we'll leave that in the show notes for everyone so you can grab that if you'd like to attend. I'd encourage it. I've gone last year and I'll be there again this year, so good times, all right. Well, thank you so much, jennifer, for being here. It was so fun and I think you just nailed a lot of points across about what us moms just kind of neglect, and you know, managing that household is just such a challenge, but it really doesn't have to be if we think about it in the right way.
Speaker 2:So, appreciate all your insights.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, I was going to say too I also have the Intentional Mom podcast, and you are going to be a guest on that as well too.
Speaker 2:We're going to be able to sit down, but you'll be, a familiar face on the Intentional Mom podcast as well, definitely definitely going to be awesome, all right, well, thanks everyone for joining us this week and we will be back next with a brand new episode. Yeah, thanks for having me. Thanks for joining us today on, she's Got it Together. It's been a real journey, sharing and laughing with you all.
Speaker 3:We hope you're walking away with a smile on your face and a bit more confidence in your step.
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