She's Got It Together
She's Got It Together
Sunshine Guilt: It's a Real Thing
Hey guys, it's Samantha here! In this episode, my sister Jessica and I dive deep into a topic that hit me like a ton of bricks: sunshine guilt. You know, that feeling when it's a gorgeous sunny day outside, but you're just not in the mood to soak it all in? Like, you kinda wanna stay in your PJs, curl up on the couch, and not feel bad about it? Yup, that's sunshine guilt for ya!
We chat about how this guilt seems to stem from growing up hearing our parents tell us to get our butts outside on nice days. And don't even get me started on the added pressure of being a mom now - how can I not take my kiddo out to play?! But sometimes, you just need a down day, even if the weather is screaming "get out here!"
Jess and I also get into how living in a state with actual seasons (hey there, Michigan!) makes those sunny days feel like precious commodities we gotta take advantage of. But when you're on vacay in a sunny spot? Oh man, the guilt can be real when all you wanna do is chill inside!
So grab a drink, get cozy, and join us as we give you full permission to embrace those "blah" feelings, even on the sunniest of days. Trust me, you're so not alone in this sunshine guilt thing!
Hope you enjoyed this episode!
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Here's to Getting it Together one day at a time,
Jessica & Samantha
But it has to be on this particular day.
Speaker 1:I'm going to plan it in there because I can't have any of my reservations.
Speaker 2:I guess it depends like how long you're on vacation. If you have a short vacation, of course you want the weather to be great the whole time, Because you only have so much time. But if you're somewhere for like an extended period of time, you're going to have to have like a down day.
Speaker 1:And it's okay if you don't have anything planned and it's okay if it's okay if you don't have anything planned, and it's okay if it's sunny and you're inside. But us and our brains are like, oh god, I should be out, I should be doing something, but we're giving you permission precious to not do anything. Yeah, we have to.
Speaker 2:Well, and again, I think it really I think it really comes down to like where you're from or what weather yeah, that is because some people may not feel guilty for having a nice, beautiful, sunny day and being inside if they are in that kind of environment all of the time.
Speaker 1:We were not.
Speaker 2:You're just like, oh my God, it's like a sunny day. You have to get outside. It's beautiful, Like it's that sunny, oh my God, could be the last sunny day of the year. Hi everyone and welcome to a brand new episode of she's Got it Together. I'm your host, jessica, and I'm Samantha. Each week, we peel back the curtain on what it really looks like to have it together.
Speaker 1:From the messy moments to the milestones, we're here to share it all.
Speaker 2:So grab your favorite drink, get comfy and let's dive into today's topic. Let's dive into today's topic. Do you ever have that feeling where it's been cloudy and gross for a while and then all of a sudden it is sunny and nice and warm and you know what you might have woke up that day like in a bad mood or like tired, or you don't feel great and like the sunshine just like makes you feel bad, because you're like I should probably be happy that it's nice and sunny and I should get outside and have a walk and do something with myself and like
Speaker 2:just take advantage of the weather, but like your mind and body are like I just want it to be like a rainy day and curl up on the couch and like, just take advantage of the weather, but like your mind and body are like I just want it to be like a rainy day and curl up on the couch and like not do this right now.
Speaker 2:It's like I was watching this Instagram video and this girl's talking about sunshine guilt. And it's where you wake up and it's this beautiful sunny day and you know, most of the time people are excited. It's sunny, like you get outside doing activity, but you're just like not in the mood for it. You're like I am tired, I want to stay in my pajamas all day and not do anything and you feel guilty if you don't take advantage of the nice day and like I just remember watching that video and I'm like, oh my, my god, that just hit me so hard because I know that feeling where you're just like I don't want to go outside, right, I don't feel like being in a good mood and it being sunny today.
Speaker 1:I was like oh my god, sunshine guilt that's the perfect term like I've never heard of that really.
Speaker 2:But I'm like because like yesterday was a beautiful, like lovely, like sunny day, and you know, I was in a mood to be outside, I was like, yeah, this is great. But there are days where you're just like, oh no, I don't want to go outside and go for a walk. I'm over it. I want it to be a gloomy, rainy day where I can be in my feelings and have like almost in your feelings.
Speaker 2:I love it Just like have an excuse to be lazy that day because that's what you feel like doing. I don't want to go for a run or a walk or just go be outside because it's nice.
Speaker 1:I don't want people today.
Speaker 2:I would like to stay inside and I know a lot of people have felt this feeling before and half the time I end up outside, right, because you're wasting this beautiful day, right, and it's like, okay, well, it's nice that I could probably go get some errands done. It's a good day to be out and about, but I really don't feel like doing errands done. It's a good day to like be out and about, but I really don't feel like doing errands today. Or I should probably take my son to the park you know that would be a good mom thing of me to do, but you know what? I just want him to watch cartoons and let me be on the couch too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly I. I wish we could somehow put in our request each day for the weather we would like, and it's like you know we don't feel quite joyful. Can it be sunny today, but?
Speaker 2:it's almost like the opposite too, because, like there are days, like especially us here in Michigan, where it's winters long. It can be cold, cloudy, just gloomy, and so your body is just like wanting those sunny days craving it but then, like end of summer, you're just like god.
Speaker 1:I just can't wait for fall well, I just want to curl up in my cardigan and like just be inside you want sweater weather again. You know like you're ready for the comfort food exactly, exactly, it's just sunshine guilt. Sunshine guilt yeah, that is a real thing. Who would have thought? But I do. I mean the guilt that you feel by not taking advantage of a gorgeous day. It's like who put this guilt on us.
Speaker 2:Like where did this come from? Right? No one we did. It's crazy because it's like your body is telling you I want to get outside and be active and your brain is like nah better not. No, Because I've done the opposite and like I've sat on the couch on a nice sunny day and I'm constantly looking outside like I should be outside, yeah, so like ruins your whole day. It does, because if you don't go outside, you're like I'm such a lazy piece of poo, like I should be outside.
Speaker 2:I should be going for a walk and then, now that I'm a mom, I'm like I should take Bo outside. Like he wants to be outside Right, like it's like when I didn't have Bo, I could get over it. Like, okay, fine, I'm taking the day, I need the day. But then when I have Beau now, who I know needs to get outside, would love to be outside it's a nice sunny day how could I not take him outside?
Speaker 2:I'm like it's even worse then, because when I was in my like first trimester with my baby now that I'm pregnant with I didn't feel like doing anything. And then so if it was a nice day and I'm like I should probably get him outside Like it's actually like not super cold right now, it's sunny I should take him out and I'm like like just dreading it.
Speaker 2:But then I would, I would like get out there and at least get him out for a little bit, because I'm like I have to, like I have to, and then I'm like, oh, can't wait to just go inside and have it be your nap time, and then I can sit on the couch Right, you can sit and watch TV or curl up with a book. Gosh, just something.
Speaker 1:I wonder what it is, though, because, I mean, sunshine is supposed to naturally boost your mood, so why is that sunshine not boosting our mood that day that we want to stay inside and just curl up? It's a good question. It's like not, it's not working.
Speaker 2:It's like I didn't wake up happy with the sun shining like because you're not, I guess directly in the sun.
Speaker 1:Well, even if you force yourself out, it's like your mood still doesn't change. Usually you're still not wanting to be there. You're doing it out of guilt. So what in the world has happened? Like we've got like a malfunction in our you know.
Speaker 2:It's just like a mental thing, because it's like, I mean, everybody wakes up with those days where they're just not in the mood, and maybe one of those days is just a sunny day. But then, since it's sunny, you're like oh God, like I shouldn't feel, like this because it's sunny. But if you woke up like that on a rainy day like it is today, your feelings would be totally valid, it's like of course, it totally makes sense.
Speaker 2:It's one of those, because I woke up today and I was like ugh, I'm tired. I'm just like not in like my best mood today, and I'm like it's because it's gloomy and rainy outside.
Speaker 1:Yesterday like my best mood today, and I'm like it's because it's gloomy and rainy outside.
Speaker 2:Yes, it was great, it was sunny, it was warm, I mean everything's good.
Speaker 1:But it's just interesting how I made that like excuse for my tired and not great mood Instantly. I mean, you didn't even think about it Instantly.
Speaker 2:Right, because I'm like oh well, of course I feel this way. It's cloudy and rainy. Of course it's okay for me to like be tired and not feel like my best self today, but if it was a sunny day, I would probably maybe like feel different or feel bad for feeling like not great. I mean, it's just interesting because, like, the weather can just affect your mood or even like affecting your mood or just thinking that it should affect your mood.
Speaker 1:Yeah Right, it's again. It's just us thinking too much.
Speaker 2:And I think part of it, though, is, like, with our winters right now, like it's so long, or it usually is long, I feel like it was weird this year, but still like it's still cold and cloudy and we don't have a ton of sun and like that's where that like seasonal depression can kind of come in. So then when you do get a sunny day, it's like everyone's like, yes, get outside, it's great. But then, you know, not everyone feels like that.
Speaker 1:Or if you, you know, Even as a kid, though, like that was what mom would tell us. You know, like it's gorgeous outside, get outside. Yeah, go. That was what mom would tell us. You know like it's gorgeous outside. Get outside. Yeah, go do something outside. Get off right tv or whatever and go outside. It's like we've been built this way.
Speaker 2:It's been like right into us, yeah it's a sunny day, get outside it, you know. And then, even if it was raining, like they didn't expect you to go outside, but if you wanted to, a lot of the times they would say, no, you're gonna get all wet and muddy, you're going to get sick. So it's like no, you don't get to go out and have fun in the rain, it's too cold or whatever. But then when it's sunny, if you don't feel like get out there, it's a sunny, beautiful day.
Speaker 1:What is wrong with you?
Speaker 2:You should want to get out there and play.
Speaker 1:So, honestly, I think it is just something that you're you may have been brought up with. You know it's just been. Wow, I just that just dawned on me, like that is how it's. I bet you it started.
Speaker 2:Well, and you know, like it's just like every parent almost every parent, I'm sure does that.
Speaker 1:Or I do it too, and now that I think about it I'm like, oh my gosh, I need to stop.
Speaker 2:That, that, or I do it too and now that I think about it I'm like, oh my gosh, I need to stop. That's terrible. Well, and it's not like it's that bad, it's like, yeah, okay, I don't feel great, but you know what you push yourself to maybe get out of that bad mood because or not great, you know feeling that day if you get outside. So it might have its benefits that you push yourself past your like boundary or whatever, but it's yeah your comfort.
Speaker 2:But I like we're really like diving into this but, quite honestly, like you can just like wake up and feel like a piece of crap that day and it's sunny and you're just like, okay, yeah you know I'm gonna just go back to bed, yeah it's, it's you know, I don't know, it's's just that video.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh my God, like I felt exactly what she is describing and I'm like that makes so much sense Because, yeah, it like ruins your day, because then you just feel like a lazy piece of crap if you don't like go do something or be productive, because I think like nice weather, sunny weather, you feel like you should be productive, like you feel like you should get things done, you should feel like you should accomplish things, and then on rainy, gloomy days you don't feel that urge to be like that yeah, the urge isn't there.
Speaker 2:So if you're not, feeling the urge to be productive on a sunny day. It's like God, something's got to be wrong with you. That's like the thing that you're saying in your brain, like God something's got to be wrong with me, because I don't want to do crap today and it's sunny, but this is people that like us. We live in a, in a state where we have like four seasons.
Speaker 1:It's not always sunny.
Speaker 2:If you were somewhere where it was always sunny, I would be curious to know, like if it's different for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how does it? Feel for you how does it feel I would imagine I'm just guessing, but I would imagine you don't have as much guilt when you want to stay indoors when it's sunny, because it's sunny all the time there. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Because, like California, for instance, like it's not always sunny, but a majority of the time it's nice outside, it's not always, like it's not as cold as it is here they have. You know, it's cloudy, a lot like when we went there in june, um, because my husband's um brother and their wife pregnancy brain here.
Speaker 2:Come, come on, sam, they live there, so we would go visit them and they're like oh, wow, you guys came and it's actually really great weather, because, like in June I think they call it like June gloom, and a lot of the time it's really cloudy, but I'm like, oh, it's like 75 and sunny, like this is great. So then when you're in that climate and it's nice every day, you're just like God, let's get out, let's go to the beach, let's go do this or that. And then if you live there full time and it's like that every day and you come home from work, you're like I don't feel like being outside. It's hot.
Speaker 1:I just want to be inside watch.
Speaker 2:TV, so I could see that being something where people don't necessarily feel that guilt if it's sunny out versus not.
Speaker 1:I mean we necessarily feel that guilt if it's, you know, sunny out versus not, but I mean we need to bottle it. I feel like we have to absorb enough in the summer to get through the winter. So that's where this all well, that's the that's where like people will go, uh tanning or they want a vacation um to spring break.
Speaker 2:Like for spring break, they go to florida.
Speaker 1:They go to like warmer climates not colorado yeah, we're going to colorado which is winter here, and then we're going to more winter deeper winter if we're spring break, um, but yeah, it's like you.
Speaker 2:Just I feel like go, if you can, to those places, maybe during those like winter months that give you that, like you know, nourishment that you need for the sun missing vitamin but, I know for me, like by like, our summer basically is like june to august, june yeah, sometimes like you know we get like three months and honestly, by the end of august, because it can get so freaking hot and humid we're over it.
Speaker 2:I'm done. I'm ready for fall. I'm over being in a bathing suit. I'm over being out in the hot sun all day.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be out anymore, yeah.
Speaker 2:And I love the sun, I love tanning, I love being outside, I love the beach, I love all of it. But by the end of the summer I'm like, okay, I could totally go for fall, the first like cool day. I'm like, yes, it's coming. Yes, like it's great, but then like winter, you know same thing I'm ready for like some snow for Christmas and stuff like that. We never get it anymore. No, we don't.
Speaker 2:But then like by the time like if Christmas, like New Year's, is over, like after January, like I'm done, then we can speed up to spring. Yeah, because February, march are like the worst. There's like it's cold, there's always usually more like a ton of snow, it's crappy weather super cold, it's yucky and then it's like melty and you can't do anything. So like, honestly, like spring is great, but it's like not my favorite either, because it's just like rainy and you're still cold, not warm enough. You are just like craving that summer.
Speaker 2:So this us here in michigan we're so picky here in michigan we are just picky people. I mean we should move to a different climate, it sounds like. But I like all four seasons because I'm done with them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm like done. Moderation of each. You know like I'm good with this.
Speaker 2:By the time that moves on, I'm ready for the next, so really we sound like we're complaining, but we love that we have four seasons. We do Because we're sick of them by the time they are up. Three months is max for any season for us. I could do a little bit more fall if I had to get real picky picky, because sometimes you don't get a fall if it is really hot summer and it continues yeah, and then if winter comes too soon, you're lucky.
Speaker 1:If you get any fall weather, come on, that's my only. I mean that's my only pet peeve.
Speaker 2:That's my only pet peeve. I could use a little more fall, oh gosh, thank you for that.
Speaker 1:That is so funny, you know. I was just thinking, though. So this whole sunshine guilt like when you're on vacation, even. Oh yeah, so you know, like I feel like it's a little bit different because your time is limited wherever you go. But you know, we're going on spring break to Florida If we have, you know, five, six sunny days, and I want you know a down day or be inside just chill, because you know this is vacation.
Speaker 1:This is what you do you relax. I'm going to feel guilty as well. You're supposed to relax on the beach didn't you know You're supposed to relax on the beach.
Speaker 2:I know, but dang, you can't relax inside, but I don't want sun.
Speaker 1:You know me and my son. How dare you Gosh? I know.
Speaker 2:Well, that's the thing I felt that Like when because you're going to a warm place, because you want to soak in that sun.
Speaker 1:I do.
Speaker 2:You feel guilty after you've had three or four days of baking your?
Speaker 1:butt off in the sun and you need a minute. You need a break from the sun and you just want to sit in your Airbnb in the air conditioning and chill, or go like in the town Because your body is just tired, right yeah, and in like an air-conditioned place, go to Tired, right yeah, and in like an air conditioned place, go to the mall, just go to a store. I don't know, yeah, but geez.
Speaker 2:But that's the other thing too. It's like you feel bad because it's almost worse, because you're like I'm on vacation.
Speaker 1:I should be out on the beach.
Speaker 2:I'm only going to be here for so long. I should get tan, I should do activities, I should go in the ocean or or whatever. Right, right.
Speaker 1:But do I really want to?
Speaker 2:But you make yourself go because you're like I'm paying for this vacation, I'm going to soak in every second of this.
Speaker 1:I can't just lay around on the couch at the Airbnb I mean I paid for sunshine.
Speaker 2:All of our listeners, I am entitling you the opportunity to just sit on the couch on a sunny day inside and do whatever you want to do. If you're on vacation, you can take a day and not go to the beach if you don't want to.
Speaker 1:Yes. Because again that's like a self-care Stand your deck, maybe and like look at the beach from your Airbnb or something.
Speaker 2:Don't go to it Go to your balcony and just suck in the sea air. You don't have to go down there.
Speaker 1:You'll still feel the salt. You know it sprays pretty far.
Speaker 2:Well, you can smell it at least.
Speaker 1:Yes, you can definitely smell it, nice wind blow.
Speaker 2:But that's the thing too. If you don't also like I think another part of it too it's like you know what? It's okay if you're on vacation in a nice sunny place and all you want to do is lay by the pool, like you don't have to jam-pack your vacation with activities and I'm terrible with that.
Speaker 1:We are going non-stop.
Speaker 2:See, I feel like when you feel like you're going on vacation if you've never been to that city or state or wherever before, you feel like you have to have something to do every day. You don't. You can just sit by the beach and chill.
Speaker 1:This is the first vacation. I have not planned out every single thing we're gonna do. Yeah, this, we have no plans.
Speaker 2:We are going there and that is all I know see, I feel like brett and I, like we haven't gone on a ton of vacations, like just us, like since having beau, but like a lot of times we're with family. So then there are things to do, or you're with other people and you are like navigating what everyone wants to do.
Speaker 2:But there are moments where you can be like, no, we're not gonna do that, like we're gonna do this and like that's okay too, but like you can make a plan, if you are a planner, to have this day or two where you don't do anything. Our plan is to be at the beach, plan is to be at the pool. Like you can plan that in your day if you feel like you need to. Because, like I'm like a planner, I like to plan things. I do too, but I also don't like. When Brett and I even went on our honeymoon, we didn't make any plans to do anything. Like we just were like let's get there, we're going to like chill, we just had a really busy wedding reception, like yeah, I was like we will just kind of see what we feel like doing.
Speaker 2:And so I feel like, when it comes to vacations, I don't want to plan a lot of stuff, I just want to, but there are certain things that you would have to plan, I mean like going to Disney, obviously.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you need everything planned to a T. I'm going to get my friend.
Speaker 2:Danielle, she's like one of those Disney planner people. I'm just going to get her to do it for me. You can plan my Disney vacation for me, because I will have no idea what to do or what I'm supposed to wristband.
Speaker 1:I'm supposed to get or where I'm supposed to stay.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be like, when I'm ready, I'm calling you. You can do my trick.
Speaker 1:It just feels overwhelming. Because of what?
Speaker 2:people talk about, but it's real.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's like if you don't have everything figured out. You don't get out of things. You need this wristband.
Speaker 2:to get in line early, you need to go here first, before it gets too busy.
Speaker 1:You need to do this this, this and this. Make your reservations for your rides, make your reservations for your food, you know, get your park tickets.
Speaker 2:It just makes me like think like is it even fun to go there? Because it seems awful stressful to me it is.
Speaker 1:but I will say that I mean because this last time we went it was when they had like the lightning lane passes and all like the genie thing and all that. Before when I went, all the times before that we went, there was never anything like that like you could do, like a fast pass, but we didn't do it. So this time you literally have to like get yourself in these different cues and order and you can only like book one or two at a time, like I had a, was able to get See.
Speaker 2:This is already too much, I know, but while you're there, you have to be like okay, so you're on this ride. You need to now real quick have your plan for the next ride and get it, so you can't even enjoy the ride.
Speaker 1:Well, that was the one thing. Like I'm constantly on my phone because I want to make sure everything went off without a hitch and it pretty much did, but I mean you have to be on it the whole time and that was. I mean I had to wake up at six in the morning the one morning just to get like the lightning pass deal, so I could get around the park and get on a ride anymore you can, but you're gonna.
Speaker 1:You're gonna wait an hour or more on a lot and in line and uh, yeah, no, so you have to like have this whole plan.
Speaker 2:I mean, I just need to go like without bow and do the drinking around the world thing, because that would be like all after listening to this little thing. That's what I would need is the drinking around the world because I'm like this is stressful, like mommy's gonna go have some time at wherever studio that is right, right, yes, no, it's.
Speaker 1:It's such a thing now. I mean it's like so overly busy, but I mean it's still fun, but it's not. It's not a relaxing vacation. So don't ever think that it's gonna so overly busy, but I mean it's still fun, but it's not a relaxing vacation. So don't ever think that it's going to be relaxing there.
Speaker 2:Their commercials are deceiving because there's the dad floating in the pool like this is my magic. And I'm like are you kidding me? There's kids peeing in that pool, probably jumping all over you yeah that's not quite how it feels.
Speaker 1:We went during a very low time too, because that's always what I plan, and it was still busy, so you know. Anyways, sunshine is there, but we just don't. We have to utilize the sunshine there. We can't take a day off.
Speaker 2:Oh for sure, that's the thing. I mean you just almost are like can there be like one cloudy, rainy day where we can't do anything?
Speaker 1:But it has to be on this particular day. I'm gonna plan it in there because I can't have any of my reservations.
Speaker 2:I guess it depends like how long you're on vacation. If you have a short vacation, of course you want the weather to be great the whole time because you only have so much time. But if you're somewhere for like an extended period of time, you're gonna have to have like a down day. And it's okay if you don't have anything planned, and it's okay if it's sunny and you're inside. But us and our brains are like oh god, I should be out, I should be doing something, but we're giving you permission precious to not do anything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we have to.
Speaker 2:Well, and again, I think it really I think it really comes down to like where you're from or what weather you're in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is a good point.
Speaker 2:Because some people may not feel guilty for having a nice beautiful sunny day and being inside if they are in that kind of environment all of the time.
Speaker 1:We were not. You're just like oh my God, it's like a sunny day.
Speaker 2:You have to get outside. It's beautiful, like it's that sunny, oh my.
Speaker 1:God.
Speaker 2:Could be the last sunny day of the year, exactly. It's like the sun may never come back. Who knows, like you, just don't know.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness. Well that that was quite the fun conversation, I have to say, because that was for sure 20 minutes of talking about sunshine who would have thought I?
Speaker 2:mean we can pretty much talk about anything going down a rabbit hole. If we really wanted to, that we can.
Speaker 1:That we can Thanks for joining us today on. She's Got it Together. It's been a real journey, sharing and laughing with you all.
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