The Great Dinner Routine Debate

Hey there, it's Jessica and Samantha! In this episode, we dive into the world of family dinners and how much things have changed since we were kids. Remember sitting at the table every night, no TV, no phones, just talking about your day? Well, times have definitely changed! We chat about the challenges of getting everyone together, the battles we choose to fight (or not fight) with our kids, and how we're adapting to the busy lives we lead today.

We reminisce about the good old days of home-cooked meals and the dreaded milk at our friends' houses (yuck!). But we also discuss how our roles as moms today are different from our own moms, and how convenience often wins out over tradition. Whether it's takeout, pizza nights, or meal delivery services like HelloFresh, we're all just trying to make it work for our families.

Join us as we get real about the guilt and expectations surrounding family dinners, and how we're learning to let go of what we "should" be doing and focus on what works for us. Because at the end of the day, every family is different, and there's no one right way to do things. So grab a seat at our virtual dinner table and let's chat!

Hope you enjoyed this episode!

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Here's to Getting it Together one day at a time,

Jessica & Samantha

Transcript

Family Dinner Traditions and Changes

Speaker 2 0:00

And it was when he was older like he wasn't doing it when he was eight years old.

Speaker 1 0:03

Go make your own dinner, then, but it was like okay, fine, then make your own dinner. Like, if you don't want to eat this, go make your own. So he learned, like, how to cook because he didn't necessarily want to always eat what they were eating, so it was very helpful. But yeah, I feel like there's a fine line of like when you do that.

Speaker 1 0:18

Too much flexibility, and then yeah, yeah, and you know what? It's not like he was necessarily eating junk, but it's like there might be parameters on what he could make or something like that. But it's another way that he learned how to cook pretty early, so that helped me out. So thank you.

Speaker 2 0:35

Chuck and CJ, because I like that he enjoys cooking, because I don't always I will like to bake things.

Speaker 1 0:41

I'm not necessarily a great baker, but I like to bake things Hi everyone and welcome to a brand new episode of she's Got it Together.

Speaker 2 0:52

I'm your host, jessica.

Speaker 1 0:54

And I'm Samantha. Each week we peel back the curtain on what it really looks like to have it together.

Speaker 2 0:59

From the messy moments to the milestones, we're here to share it all.

Speaker 1 1:07

So grab your favorite drink, get comfy and let's dive into today's topic.

Speaker 2 1:12

Let's talk about dinner, and dinner with the family I mean. So there's a lot of different ways. Obviously you can sit down and enjoy a meal with your family, but I feel like the traditional way obviously is like sitting at the dining room table, sitting at the kitchen table, whatever you have and you know, having no tv, having obviously no electronics right just sitting down, having a meal with the family and having conversation.

Speaker 2 1:42

but I feel like that's almost old school now. I don't know if it is. I mean we still kind of do it. We don't do it every single night, but I know, growing up we sat down had dinner every night. We had water, milk to drink, we had you know there was Milk, god, I refused to drink it.

Speaker 1 1:59

I don't even pronounce it correctly.

Speaker 2 2:01

I call it milk. I know I refused to drink it. I don't even pronounce it correctly.

Speaker 1 2:03

I call it milk like with an E, not milk with an I. Milk we never had like. When I was younger I would drink like chocolate milk and stuff, but I've never like. I never liked white milk Like as like an older kid. Obviously I had it as a baby, but I remember going over to friends' houses and sitting down at dinner and they would always have milk.

Speaker 2 2:25

And it would be whole milk and we would go up on skim well I don't even remember drinking.

Speaker 1 2:31

I never drank milk like ever other than chocolate that I remember like, obviously like a, like a baby toddler I'm sure I had whole milk, but it's like we would go over to a friend's house and they'd all have milk and then I'd be like not drinking it, like, yeah, can I have some water? So then like after enough times, like I remember our like friend Kirsten down the road, we go to her house for dinner all the time and it was like her parents started sending us out water at dinner because they knew we didn't drink them and I'm like, yeah, I mean, there can't be, there's gotta be other people I know I feel like we were like one of the only families that like did not drink milk at dinner, like brett's family did and like they still do, but they don't do it as much now.

Speaker 1 3:17

Like it's not like a common thing. Like his brother has milk a lot more, I feel like, than anybody, um, but like brett really doesn't drink it, it's not like set out all the time. Now, as adults, usually you have a water glass or a wine glass, or both or something.

Speaker 1 3:31

But it's just funny because that was such the norm. And then even when you went over to your friend's house. You sat at the dinner table. You had dinner and there was no TV. There might be music on or something, but there was no TV and obviously there was really no cell phones.

Speaker 2 3:47

Really growing up, yeah that was really a thing at that time? It wasn't really a thing.

Speaker 1 3:51

So it wasn't like no phones at the table.

Speaker 2 3:53

Right.

Speaker 1 3:54

But you talked about your day and I remember going over to friends' houses for dinner. You just never knew if you were going to like their food, because it was so different, and then it was always like a new freaking thing, and then so you're being polite, trying to eat it.

Speaker 1 4:08

But, that's the whole thing. Like I don't even exactly know because, like I don't have kids the age that they would go over to a friend's house and eat dinner now. But it's like, is that how? I mean, sure, some families do that, some families don't. If you come from a family that sits down every night at dinner but then your kid goes to a friend's house where they might sit around the coffee table and watch TV and eat dinner, or maybe everyone just kind of is a free-for-all and they just stand up and eat, it's like it could be a completely different dynamic when your kid goes to someone else's house to eat. So it's just very interesting, because there are so many different ways now, that families can still be together. Yeah, you're together.

Speaker 2 4:48

And eat dinner. You're more comfortable in other situations. But before we go on to that, what I was going to say is you know, back then you go to a friend's house and the meal was like home cooked. It was made, oh for sure. Now it's like what takeout?

Speaker 1 5:03

do you want or pizza?

Speaker 2 5:04

or you know, like we I even do that when the kids have friends over it's just like, okay, I'll order pizza for you guys, or we'll get you know, like jersey mikes or what we know, whatever they want.

Speaker 1 5:14

It's not like making a meal like we would normally do every other day and it just because I mean, I don't know, it's like times have changed so much it's a little different now too, like because when we were growing up like it's not like moms didn't work, but I feel like a lot more moms were home or they worked part time or like something where, like they were still almost expected to like, have dinner on the table kind of Like a home cooked meal, like when we were growing up.

Speaker 1 5:43

I feel like that was an expected thing, and I was just like how they were raised, how we were raised, like it was just you maybe got pizza every once in a while, like on the weekend, sundays or Fridays, we used to watch.

Speaker 2 5:57

what did we used to watch? Sequest? Is that what it was? I have no idea what that is. You were little. You idea what that is you were little. You were little little, I just remember we would have pizza nights.

Speaker 1 6:08

Sometimes the only time we really got fast food was if we were going up north. We might stop on a Friday night stop for dinner.

Speaker 2 6:16

That was a big thing we were like oh my god, we get McDonald's.

Speaker 1 6:20

It wasn't the norm. You didn't just go out to eat a lot, not like it is now.

Speaker 2 6:23

It's crazy though, because it wasn't like the norm.

Speaker 1 6:24

You didn't just go out to eat a lot, not like it is now. You didn't get fast food. Now I feel like, yeah, and it's crazy though, because I feel like it's so much more expensive to go out and eat. But more people do it because it's convenient and people are busy. They both are working. Someone's not home with the kids, they're picking them up. It's like, okay, let's go through the drive-thru. Or you try to go through Panera Bread to make it a little healthier or something Pay twice as much I mean for Brett and I, though we have Beau.

Speaker 1 6:50

He's 16 months old. He pretty much eats what we eat now and right now. To make it easier, we're doing the HelloFresh meals. And so we get HelloFresh meals for dinner four nights a week because I'm pregnant. I was so tired in the beginning like I didn't feel like shopping, I didn't feel like eating, like I didn't feel like doing any of that so then we just started doing like the HelloFresh program again, which we go like in spurts.

Speaker 1 7:18

I'm doing that, and so we're doing that now, and it's honestly been really nice. You don't have to think about what you're making, you pull the bag out of the fridge. So that alone is something that nobody had back when we were growing up.

Speaker 2 7:31

So they had to go to the store and plan out the meals. We had rich plans and it was like six months at a time, like Schwann's yeah, schwann's you would get once a month. They would have at Christmas time.

Speaker 1 7:46

I don't, I don't, I just remember the truck coming and then, our freezer being stocked and our fridge being stocked and it was just like, alright, that's food that we're getting delivered. But other than that, I feel like that was like a refrigerated truck coming to your house giving you food.

Speaker 2 8:05

Now it's literally delivered to your door if you want it to be. It's cooked, hot, fresh. You're just going to go right, dive into it.

Speaker 1 8:11

Well, it's like we still have to cook it. But I mean, there are some that you can just heat up in the microwave or the oven but, ours. You still have to like follow the recipe and cook.

Speaker 2 8:20

Yeah.

Speaker 1 8:25

But it just depends what kind of like service you want. But we've been finding that's really easy for us in our stage of life right now, and then we still will sit down at the table, like Brett and I and Beau, and so again, like Brett gets home at like 445. So it's pretty early.

Speaker 2 8:38

Yeah.

Speaker 1 8:38

So that we can start dinner. Take care of, like Beau, and usually we are hoping to eat by like six o'clock. It's better if we can eat a little bit earlier, but half the time it's like six o'clock when we eat, but we still sit down at our table with him and eat and I know like that is like important to Brett and I and we've talked about this before. We had Bo because we both grew up with you know our parents sitting at the table talking about our day.

Speaker 2 9:06

You asked to be excused like have two more bites of your salad and you can get up.

Speaker 1 9:12

And so like we want to be able to have like that time More traditional. And a more traditional, like I think, upbringing for Beau, like I would love for him to have like a 90s childhood upbringing with less technology, more imagination playing outside, but we'll see what actually happens. But you know we can do that with him right now.

Speaker 2 9:32

We're not running off to sports, we're not, like you know, I work from home.

Speaker 1 9:38

I would say so because I also work from home, so like I can start dinner some days. Other days I can't, because it's just like I'm busy doing something or bow's having a harder day and I can't get away, kind of thing. But bow. But bow brett gets home early enough that like he can start dinner too and we can eat early enough where we can sit at the table and have like that time. Honestly, though, like half the time like I'm up in the kitchen getting bow more food.

Speaker 1 10:05

I'm not exactly like sitting down the entire time relaxing, but we try to be there.

Speaker 2 10:10

Yeah, it's the routine of it, but that was another interesting thing though. You know Brett helping you cook. Dj cooks too. He does most of the cooking.

Speaker 1 10:19

Brett does too. Quite honestly, dad didn't do any cooking back in our day he grilled. Yeah, he would grill, that's right.

Speaker 2 10:24

But just grilled, but mom would grill too.

Speaker 1 10:27

It's just the majority, well it depends when he would get home too, because if you think about it. He didn't get home till 536 o'clock. Yes, you're not going to wait for him to cook dinner, no, you wouldn't, your kids would be going nuts but at the same time stuff, though like cooking mom did. Dad would most likely grill, but like yeah, there wasn't as much help in the kitchen. Yeah, and brett is a great cook.

Speaker 2 10:51

He's a better cook than me.

Speaker 1 10:52

He enjoys cooking I honestly like kind of like relinquish and just let him do it because I don't want to like. I mean, cooking's fine, it's whatever, but I don't necessarily give it up, yeah as like a therapeutic relaxing method. I get more stressed out cooking because because like there's just so much going on and I'm chopping and it's sizzling, and you know it's not always exactly fun Like Brett and I would cook together a lot when we were.

Speaker 2 11:16

But you have distractions, like it's not, like you can just focus on what you're doing. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 11:20

One of us kind of has to cook and then the other one has to watch Bo, Because usually that's like his witching hour too. He's a little whinier, and then when Brett gets home he just really wants to be around Brett. So I've been finding. Now I'm cooking a little bit more because he's at that stage where he just wants to be around Brett more than me, because earlier it was like always me.

Speaker 1 11:39

So we're kind of moving in that phase. But it is nice that Brett's willing to do that, because not every man is I guess.

Speaker 2 11:54

I just like that he doesn't expect me to like have a home cooked meal ready for him when he gets home at 4.45.

Speaker 1 11:58

He knows better, especially right now. Yeah, it's like my hormones are in my attitude. It's like I would be throwing the spatula at him if he said something like that. But you get what you get, like. He's very, very helpful when it comes to the kitchen, which his dad was like that, though, his dad, um, and mom both cooked his dad does a majority of the cooking now, like his mom does cook too, but his dad does a lot of it but that he was always a part of it though yeah, right.

Speaker 1 12:23

So I mean he grew up seeing that and then his mom and dad like, when he got older, if he didn't want to eat what they were eating, they're like okay, we'll go cook your own food then, like they were like if you're not going to eat what we're eating we had like.

Speaker 1 12:39

If you don't like what we're, well, it was when he was older I know you're I think they just got from what I've heard from brett because they just got sick of him saying, because he was a pretty picky eater, they got sick of him saying like I don't, like this, I don't want to eat that, and it was when he was older like he wasn't doing it when he was eight years old.

Speaker 1 12:57

Dinner then, but it was like okay, fine, then make your own dinner. Like if you don't want to eat this, go make your own. So he learned, like, how to cook because he didn't necessarily want to always eat what they were eating, so it was very helpful, but yeah, I feel, like. There's a fine line of like when you do that.

Speaker 2 13:12

Too much flexibility.

Speaker 1 13:14

Yeah, and you know what? It's not like he was necessarily eating like junk, but it's like there might be parameters on what he could make or something like that. But there might be parameters on what he could make or something like that, but it's another way that he learned how to cook pretty early, so that helped me out.

Family Dinner Time and Memories

Speaker 2 13:30

So thank you, Chuck and CJ, because I think he enjoys cooking.

Speaker 1 13:32

I don't always I will like to bake things. I'm not necessarily a great baker, which I like. As a mom now, I love that. As a kid I was like, oh my God, like yeah.

Speaker 2 13:54

I please be excused, Torture. You know it was really.

Speaker 1 13:57

Well, it just depends on what the meal was. If I didn't like the meal, it just felt like I was there forever. It wasn't steak and potatoes, I was out, but it's like you're like gross fish and oh yeah. Chip thing, whatever that was, I no, thank you, but it's like spaghetti. I didn't like spaghetti, but they would let me make butter and garlic noodles instead of having the spaghetti sauce.

Speaker 2 14:22

You were like me, didn't like the spaghetti sauce on the noodles.

Speaker 1 14:25

So I mean, I guess there were flexible moments, but it's like it was a nice feel With the ingredients that were provided, right, right, I wasn't like making like macaroni you could put more mashed potatoes and just a sprinkle of the chili on top with lots of cheese.

Speaker 1 14:39

Right, yeah, seriously Make your own bowl. Okay, all cheese and potatoes and a little bit of chili. But that's what's nice about like being able to have those like conversations and stuff at the table. You know you get to connect a little bit, especially like when your kids are older. You know you get to connect a little bit, especially like when your kids are older. I feel like that's definitely harder because you're running off in a bunch of different directions. If you're in sports or other programs or something, and then you're still trying to like be together as like a family and some people like still make that like such a priority. They just figure it out.

Speaker 2 15:12

But then there has to almost be like it's okay if you're all like eating dinner at the coffee table and watching a movie tonight, like, like that's how it's like as they get older, it's tougher you know, the attitude, the, the fight with it. I mean, I know obviously we need to, you know, correct them, kind of lay down the law like this is how we're going to do things, but at some point it's not enjoyable for anyone. Why are you doing it?

Speaker 1 15:44

I feel like there's a standard that you set, but every night or every week, if there's a night where it's just been a day and everyone is just tired, it's like a Friday night. You don't want to cook, you can get pizza and a movie and all eat together in the living room and watch it. I personally wouldn't do that as the norm, but if it happens it's fine.

Speaker 2 16:07

You can't necessarily I mean God, we did it every single night we did, but I just think about the anger that I had doing it Like I was not happy. I wasn't going to open up, I wasn't going to, you know, like there was very few dinners that you know actually went the way they had hoped or planned it. Because I'm not like you can ask me how my day is. It's fine. Like I don't, I'm gonna eat as quickly as I can. I'm gonna get the hell out of there.

Speaker 1 16:36

I feel like that is an age thing too, you know, like that's definitely like teenager, like mentality we were like that too. You know, it's like I don't feel like talking, I want to go on my phone, I want to go on the computer. Like you know, it's just like that phase of life. But it's funny because now, like me as an adult, as much as like those dinners might have been boring to me or not always the best, I mean I want to do that with my kids now.

Speaker 2 17:02

Right.

Speaker 1 17:03

Right, so obviously it meant something to me in that moment I might not have known, but like it means a lot to me now that we've had that time, because, honestly, not every family takes that time.

Speaker 2 17:13

Right.

Speaker 1 17:13

Especially now, they don't take the time to be together or just talk and communicate and have those moments where you're making memories, even if it seems like you're not, because there are so many moments that have happened when we were kids. But we remember that. We remember having dinner every night at the table.

Speaker 1 17:29

And I would like to have that for my kids. I'm sure it's going to look a little different, but I would like to be able to sit down at the table and I don't want to force them to talk, but it's like if you just kind of have other moments, maybe they cook dinner with you and then you're just naturally talking and they start talking to you and like that's your time to talk. You don't necessarily have to have these deep conversations at the table, but I almost feel like our dinners turned into like family meetings sometimes, yes, and I think that's why I didn't like that, because it could have been the only time that you're together you know it is, but it's like the heavy trash, like really having it, so you know what I mean Like you're stuck there till you're excused.

Speaker 2 18:10

I like the idea of having these sit-down dinners and obviously, like on holidays and some nights, we do still do it, but we haven't done that in probably three-ish years probably regularly like how do you do?

Speaker 2 18:26

dinner. Well, it depends like taylor likes to eat at the counter, hayden will eat at the dinner table and then dj and I, depending on he, might in his recliner, he might, you know, like just watching tv or something like unwinding. But we get more out of them by not forcing them to sit somewhere where they don't want. Then we do by doing that. So I mean we used to when they were younger. It was easier, like this whole, I don, I don't know, hormonal teen nonsense.

Family Dinner Time and Technology

Speaker 1 18:56

I guess it just depends on like the battles that you feel like fighting at this point in life with them. Yeah, exactly, maybe you'll come back to it later. Yeah, and I think we will.

Speaker 2 19:05

I think we have like a hybrid version, I guess. You know like we have a little bit of everything and we just kind of go with it. I mean, it used to be well. It was for a bit that we were on the go at that time In fact we did Hungry Root that box and we made them because they were not. Most of the meals in there were like wraps and things like that, more lunchy stuff. But it was perfect for our dinners on these like baseball nights and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 19:31

So we would do that. But I mean it's just, it's hard because Taylor obviously wants to be on her tablet, hayden just wants to go do her homework, and DJ and I just want quiet. It's been a long day.

Speaker 1 19:47

Give us a minute.

Speaker 2 19:48

It has, I feel like, for me.

Speaker 1 19:51

I get really irritated with Brett when he has his phone at the table, because I feel like I don't have your undivided attention. I feel like I'm not important to you right now, in this moment, even if he puts his phone on the table and it's flipped upside down.

Speaker 2 20:08

I know he's going to grab it. It's a distraction.

Speaker 1 20:11

And then I feel like, okay, you're not in this moment with me and Bo right now, and it's like can we just have like a second, because it's hard for us to have just a second with Bo, right, you know, yes, like the two of us and Bo like sitting down, like just even just him and I having like time is hard, so I'm yeah can you just like not have your phone at?

Speaker 2 20:31

the table for like 20 minutes because we don't get to sit here that long right, I mean, it's not very long, it's not?

Speaker 1 20:36

like I'm perfect either, but I feel like now, since I'm like on my phone more for work and things like that.

Speaker 2 20:43

I've noticed like if I don't want to be on my, yeah, there's that boundary.

Speaker 1 20:48

I don't want to be on my phone, like after a certain time, or like when we're having sit down meals, or if I'm like with certain people, like I don't want to be glued to like my phone. And so I find with Brett he is glued to his phone when he gets home, cause that's like he's not unwinding Right, Like he's teaching so right, but that's like his way to unwind is to watch.

Speaker 1 21:09

YouTube videos and stuff like that, but I'm like when I'm trying to talk to you, can you please like put the phone down?

Speaker 2 21:14

Yeah, we still have them at the table, like if we're going to sit down as a family at the table. The phones aren't there out and you know that distraction is gone, but it's just not necessarily the best situation for us every single night and I'm surprised because I thought that's how I would be with them, but it's. You're right about the fights like wanting. You know what? What battles do you want to pick? And that is one that is just we've kind of discovered is just not worth it, because we can still sit out there and have a conversation. We're still in the same room, we're just not sitting at the same table.

Speaker 1 21:55

Right Well, and that's the thing I think the way that dinner like expectations, like just from, like a societal standpoint and like a generational standpoint, like it's definitely evolving, it's definitely changing, and like, yes, I want a more traditional upbringing for beau, but honestly, he's 16 months old, I don't even know what it's gonna look like in a few years, yeah, so you can have an idea of how you want things to go in your head or what you like would really like to implement.

Speaker 1 22:26

But it might not necessarily turn out that way and that's okay. It's okay if you're sitting, you know, and you have a tv on and that's how you're bonding and you're eating, like if that's what you need to do, fine. But like I think people might feel bad if they're like oh no, my, I don't sit down at the table with my kids every night. It's got like crap all over it.

Speaker 2 22:47

I have to clean it off every time we want to eat there. I.

Speaker 1 22:50

I mean it just sometimes they tend to be a catch-all you know for stuff. They're like right when you walk in or whatever. Like I mean as a teacher, when I was teaching preschool I could tell kids that have never sat at a table to eat because they would not know what to do.

Speaker 1 23:11

Like cause we would eat family style a lot of the time, like pre COVID and everything, but then, um, just like serving themselves, like we would teach them how to serve themselves and like kids at four or five don't necessarily know how to serve themselves. But that was part of like the program is, like you sit at the table, you have family style, but you could tell the kids that had never really sat at a table because they would be getting up, walking around eating and then you were like, oh no, come back, sit down. Like you have to sit down and eat your food, you can't walk around with it. So you could tell the kids that knew like how to pass the food or serve themselves or just sit at the table, and then you could see the kids that might not have had as much exposure to that. That's a good point.

Speaker 2 23:53

Never really thought about it that way.

Speaker 1 23:55

We use that time to talk like as a class, as you know, because that's like one of the things is like to talk and be social and like share things and bond with your classmates and stuff. So that was one thing that we did implement in the classroom. It was part of our curriculum. But some kids don't have that and some of them are like, oh my God, this is so fun.

Speaker 1 24:15

It's nice sitting next to my friends and talking and eating because, they didn't have that, because maybe they were just given their dinner and they ate it in front of the TV. And then their parents went and did something or ate later. You don't know how they how you know, they eat at home. So I think it can be a really great experience for kids that haven't had it and they're like, oh my God, this is great. And then kids that do have it are like, oh yeah, I just sit at the table with my parents and talk and you know.

Speaker 1 24:47

But so there's two sides to it, like some kids might crave that because they've never had it, and then other ones are just like my god, can I please have a? Moment, but it's like, honestly it's like it's a dinner, that's like 20, 30 minutes, like I think you could get through it yeah at the same time.

Speaker 2 25:04

You know, maybe not every night, you have to do that yeah, I think I still don't think we can do it every night anymore, at least not at this stage. But you know, even forcing them to do it, it was just like then we're all stressed out because they're complaining, you know they're not eating and we're doing whatever, and then it just like turns into this very negative situation. So that's kind of why we stopped doing it, or forcing it, I mean, except we still do it. We just don't do it every night, Not like how we grew up and it wasn't a problem until they hit a certain age. And then I just kind of got to be like and I guess that's when you have to make the decision.

Speaker 1 25:45

It's like okay, are we going to like, set this standard and this is? What we do in this family. We sit down and we have dinner and I'm sorry if you don't like it, but this is what we do or you kind of be more flexible and they're like okay, maybe two out of the three nights we sit down for dinner or you know whatever, but it's a personal family like your little family's decision.

Speaker 1 26:09

Yes, because I know like the other side of it is like we talked about going to friends' houses. So if you're a family that may not sit down at the table and you go to a friend's house where they sit down at the table and you are confused like what is?

Speaker 2 26:25

this. Why are we sitting?

Speaker 1 26:27

down and I thought we were going to go eat in front of the TV, Like it could be a total like culture shock almost because they don't know what to do or what's expected of them. And then the whole. You know, I don't know exactly how kids are now with eating other people's food and not liking it. I know I would choke it down and not say a word.

Speaker 1 26:47

You know I would eat it, but now I don't know, but it's like the respect word you know I would hate it, but now I don't know, but it's like the respect thing.

Speaker 2 26:52

You know, I don't know if Taylor could do that, she would probably voice her every thought she has. Well, she does it.

Speaker 1 26:57

She does it at grandma's. She does. Oh, she's something she's like. Oh, that looks gross, yeah, and it's like that. There are times where you have to be like you know that's not okay. You can't tell people their food's gross. If you don't like it, that's fine, you don't have to taste it or however you want to handle it. But then there are moments where you're like you know what Like you don't say that out loud.

Speaker 2 27:18

It's called being respectful at the table. Exactly, exactly, you know.

Speaker 1 27:23

So it's just it's hard and there isn't one like right way to do things. You just have to do what's right for your family in the moment and it can change.

Speaker 2 27:35

Like year to year, it can change. I feel like that's our constant message. That's just like our ongoing message, no matter what we're talking about, it has to work for your family, it has to work in your situation.

Speaker 1 27:45

There's no right or wrong, I mean, I think, I feel like generationally, like it was an expectation and like a like pressure really to like have that kind of meal with your family every night, no matter where you were. You were home for dinner, you sat down and then now like as like you know, we're all growing up and stuff, we're changing the way things kind of have worked for our parents and generations before them.

Speaker 1 28:12

So it's like I think there's like this guilt almost of like not doing it how you're raised or not doing it how like people expect you to, because then, like, maybe your other family, like you guys, don't necessarily sit down for dinner all the time. I'm saying I want to sit down for dinner all the time. I might not necessarily understand why you guys don't want to do that, but it's like you have to like, respect the decision of that family and then when you're together, you just figure it out.

Speaker 2 28:40

I mean that's when we're all together as like a whole family, like I mean the full family extended family we sit at a table. You know taylor hayden like would holidays.

Modern Challenges in Family Meal Planning

Speaker 1 28:50

Well, yeah, not necessarily be there, though sometimes so it's like that's the other thing, it's like yeah okay, if they're not expected to do it at home, then why would they think they're expected to do it at like someone else's house, like a family member's house? But then you know that's a decision that you have made like with your family and then the other family just has to like deal with it, you know right like that's the, that's the thing.

Speaker 1 29:13

Before it was like oh yeah, everyone sits down at the table like it's just the norm we don't have to expect anything different. It's not necessarily like that anymore yeah, no, that's that's true too.

Speaker 2 29:22

Yeah, definitely different times, but we all have to make it work I don't know.

Speaker 1 29:29

yes, we do well, and, my gosh, it's like we never had fast food or pizza or anything other than on special occasions and stuff, and I feel like now, just out of convenience, a lot of the time that's what people are picking up during the week, because they are going to soccer and baseball, and they are going to this and that, or I have to work late today, so I think that too.

Speaker 2 29:54

Well, it's usually two working parents typically.

Speaker 1 29:58

Exactly.

Speaker 2 29:58

Yeah, I mean that's more common than ever, and actually it's uncommon for you not to have two working parents.

Speaker 1 30:06

Well, right, and before of course, like the mom was at home, they could make a meal for their family that was ready when their, their husband, got home. Because they weren't working outside of the home, they were taking care of the home and that was part of like their job. And so now it's not like that anymore, so there has to be, like, some accommodations for his families.

Speaker 2 30:28

Things have to change to accommodate, that for sure. And you know what?

Speaker 1 30:33

That's why we do HelloFresh, like it's, you know, probably a little bit more expensive. I find that we don't waste as much food and we don't have to worry about what we're picking. We don't have to like meal plan as much. We know like we got this like spaghetti thing, great. We got this chicken thing great. It's like what do we feel like tonight? Okay, we have a quick dinner time.

Speaker 2 30:58

Looking for the ingredients. Even when you go to the store, you forget what you need If you didn't write it down, you get too much of something and you forget something else. I feel like the whole concept of these boxes just works well for our chaotic lives.

Speaker 1 31:12

Well, it does, and I think that's why Brett and I do it in phases. There are times where we want to take a break from it and make our own meals, and then there are times where we're like you know what? We just got a lot going on.

Speaker 1 31:23

Right now let's do that again, because I feel like we're wasting food or we feel like we're eating out more or just like eating more junk, because we just don't know what to make or we don't have something that day, and so like we're, like we don't want to keep, like eating out because we just don't have any food because I haven't had time to go to the store, because I'm working and I'm taking care of Bo and he's working and it's like there's just not enough time and we let things go to waste.

Speaker 2 31:46

That's part of our issue. Yeah, bright and I did that too. We all do that because we're no time to make it, don't feel like making it, or whatever reason, and things will be wasted. And that frustrates me, because everything is so expensive right now. Everything is so expensive, especially food.

Speaker 1 32:03

So then you're just like, oh my God, we wasted all of those Like vegetables and fruit go bad, so quick they do. You're just like oh, I totally forgot I was going to make that meal, like I remember. I forgot one thing and I just decided not to use any of the other ingredients.

Speaker 1 32:17

Everything else went bad, yeah. So I think you just have to like kind of forget what like society is saying, or what your other family members might be saying, or what you feel is expected of you in regards to like how you have dinner with your family.

Speaker 2 32:34

It's like a proper way to do it. Yeah, it's your family.

Speaker 1 32:37

You decide what works for you and then you know what, if people don't like it, too bad, too bad. You know it's like you got to do what you got to do.

Speaker 2 32:48

Thanks for joining us today on. She's Got it Together. It's been a real journey, sharing and laughing with you all.

Speaker 1 32:54

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Speaker 2 32:58

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Speaker 1 33:04

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Speaker 2 33:10

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Speaker 1 33:14

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